As I enter the world, the culture, the universe of Kink - Fetish - BDSM - DS, I feel that I am entering into a continent like Europe. On the surface it can appear to have similarities to itself. As one goes deeper into each country, town, faith, or family the particulars of culture & behavior appear.
Each country has it's own standards of protocol, politeness, and courtesies. Unique to each.
I am discovering that the range of fetishes can extend from cuddling (as a fetish?) to forced masturbation, from belly dancing (as a festish), to asphyxiation play (as play?).
A Dominant can be cruel, demeaning, denigrating, and/or loving, empowering, romantic, and sacred. And so much more. . .
A Submissive can be aroused by pain, empowered by it, needing to be denigrated, subdued, controlled, and/or devotional, in divine service, empowered by surrendering, offering the noble sacrifice in love. And so much more. . .
What I at first assumed was a box, a label, a container that held "them" safe inside, and me safe outside, is turning into a sacred circle, a spiral path, a path into the Great Below of shadow & self-discovery, recovery, uncovery, transformation & back again (and again) for me, and for our world.
All the world is a stage, and we but players (says Shakespeare). In the world of BDSM our erotic time together is a "Scene." Usually negotiated. Sometimes scripted & rehearsed. At times with an indepth contract delineating roles, limits, desires, rewards, punishments, and easy out clauses.
Time/duration may vary from a few minutes, to a few hours, to 24/7 for months or longer at a time.
One of the things I loved about being in theatre was the opportunity to discover myself newly as another character, another self, and ultimately to bring that home and integrate it into my day to day life. I learned that there is nothing that is "not me." That inside me is a universe; an infinity.
I am discovering that again in BDSM. It is an opportunity (always) for the practice of compassion and non-judgment towards myself and others.
Like any path, it can be filled with Shadow; That which is hidden, lost, supressed, rejected, shamed or denied. That is also true for the world of "regular sex" or Tantric Sex. Sex/Eros is such a powerful energy that it can become compulsive, addictive, convoluted, and unconsciously driven. Ultimately psychologically & emotionally hurtful.
Yet, the Left Hand path of Embodied Spirituality says that there is a way through. The way through any experience into consciousness, compassion, the unconditional & loving acceptance of the ALL.
In this world of BDSM anything can be a fetish, a kink, a calling, a compulsion, a lifting up, or a tearing down of who we are (or think we are) in a constructive or destructive way.
Energy follows consciousness. Anything can be sacred. Anything. As we bring out conscious intent to it, it becomes holy. May our soul light & intimate lives shine.